Rule #1 of Suramerica: Don't you dare flush that toilet paper.

I'm home and flushing toilet paper like a maniac.

when youre lucid youre the sweetest thing

I left the house once today to pick up the paper. Other than that, I slept all day. I'm sick right now, okay? Anyway, sometimes when your time is spent lounging around lifelessly, a thought or two is bound to enter consciousness without even asking. You can't help it. It just happens. Sigh, what a bother.

Things I have to try at least once before I die
1. switch subway cars while the train is in motion
2. watch The Ring full with my eyes open the whole movie
3. censored
4. talk about my feelings with another human being
5. climb a mountain

Adventurous. High standards! I'm thinking I might be able to manage everything on this list some time within the next five years if I'm ambitious. With the exception of number 2. That one's just a killer. At least number 5 is not cliche or anything.

I really like to climb. Not like, emotionally or anything (see Miley Cyrus' The Climb). But like, you know, just for fun. Physically, I mean.

Come on...it's a little funny.

happens to me everytime

buttercupfestival.com

You know what kills my printing balance? The daily SuDoku. Ten cents a day to play around with some numbers? I've got to make some changes.

It was sunny out today. So naturally, every girl on campus pulled out their mini skirt to wear. I mean, it was only 36 degrees, BUT THERE WAS SUNSHINE! So clearly that makes it mini skirt day here at Geneseo. Ladies and gentlemen, logic.

In the news: I was feeling really bold and daring this morning, so I redesigned.. with the replacement of my former blog template for another one that is equally plain in sight. You know what they say about makeovers!!!

Quick! What do you think of when you hear Thom Yorke hauntingly repeating the words: Little babies' eyes, eyes, eyes? Answer: scary dead baby scene from Trainspotting. Am I right? It's just what I've been thinking.

I've heard a lot of people-- mostly young people, say that they don't like Charles Dickens. Well, I just read three of his novels and I'm gonna go ahead and say that I like him. I'm also going to start asking people whether they prefer the original or revised ending of Great Expectations. And then I'm going to judge them according to their answer.

It's always a little sad the moment you realize that life has taken its toll on one of your bathing suits and its your job to move it on to its afterlife as a drag suit.

Anywho, I should really go grocery shopping. I just had bread for lunch.

Time is contagious, everybody's getting old.

I just found out that J.D. Salinger died. This is slightly old news, I know. Lately I haven't been as web-explorative as usual. It seems awful cliche as an adolescent to write about the profoundness of Catcher in the Rye, so I'll keep it brief. I remember the night I stayed up and read it whole, and I remember how ironically un-alone I felt after reading it. I don't like it when people make fun of the book. I understand that there's this constant reoccurring theme that says: Life Sucks, but who can't relate to a little teenage turmoil every now and then? I wrote this in my notebook this past summer haha:

Whenever I wander central park I like to pretend I'm Holden Caulfield, walking familiar streets and narrating a senseless and sulky life.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/232740/page/1 I have the 1991 print! Which one do you have?? I remember buying this copy because it was the cheapest one at the bookstore.

So, J.D. Salinger, your short stories are weird, but thank you by and bye for Catcher in the Rye. I wish I could hug you. I don't really know what "by and bye" means, but it sounds alright in this context.

Well, I wrote it and I was not inflamed one bit.

I realized I haven't been to a concert at my school since high school. Road trips were so fun, especially the ones that started as soon as the first of your friends passed their road test. Other things I remember about high school:

• wishing so badly that I was good at sports every other day in gym class
• my sister poetically rewriting all my papers up until junior year
• walking my dog to the pond everyday after school with Molly Bell
  
• the first words I read by Ralph Waldo Emerson (oh, to fall in love with words)
• the first words I read by Henry David Thoreau (oh, to fall in love with words, all over again, twenty minutes later)
• a friendship pact to see DMB in concert every summer for the rest of our lives
• public speaking: the only bad grade I ever got in an English class
• PIG project: Methamphetamine Lab Detection in Tioga County. I never knew how poorly we did in that class until report cards came out. Who knew that laughing at drugs while raising awareness would be considered unacceptable? Not me.
  
• warm keystone beer
• sexing fruit flies in biology lab
• a mid-January camping trip up in the mountains of Candor
• a food coma induced nap that struck every afternoon during Calculus class

3. When you are cutting your bangs anywhere near the natural fall of the eyebrow lines....Guess what?! This is totally the dangerzone. I'll say it again. This is the DangerZone. Why? Because this is the one point where you have to take into account that the weight of the length of the bangs that you are cutting off has a way of defying gravity. So what does that mean? It means that the hairline and the growth patterns of your hair might take over and cause your bangs to appear a lot shorter and in some cases your bangs will look like a stunt double for "There's something about Mary" and we all know what those bangs look like.

I was led to this after I cut my bangs wrong and googled, "I cut my bangs wrong." At first I was really flustered, but then I thought, Do I really care? Since when have I been known for having good hair, anyway?

I caught about the last half hour of Predator on AMC the other night. It was the perfect way to end the night by reliving some good childhood fear. Silly Arnold Schwarz, don't you know that a breezy 22 years later Rule #2 would come to be declared as Double Tap? That is, assuming that zombies and aliens are basically the same. At least three people (give or take) are going to be very angry that I just said that.

While we're talking about zombieland, I liked the message of hope that was sent out to every average gaming loner. Someday, (and that day will be the day you become known as the last living boy in the country) you'll get that hot girl. And it's also probable that you may happen upon a chance encounter with Bill Murray. So, stay alive, slaughter some living dead, and just keep on trucking.

I found my lost ipod of two years today! It was exciting because I gave up hope of finding it a long time ago. Listening to my old playlists was pretty weird. There was some fun stuff, a good amount of sad stuff, and a whole lot of Dave Matthews. Talk about nostalgia at its best.

How bad was that song that played for the Avatar credits. Wouldn't it have been so funny to hear Celine Dion's wholehearted voice at the end of the movie? And to think that if anyone knows how to get the gig of a lifetime for an old friend, it's James Cameron. Remember going to the theaters to see Titanic with your family and your mom actually having to cover your own eyes for you when Kate Winslet got nakie? I also remember that we got to go on a school night and bragging about it the next day to my friends.

I held one book and one book only in my arms this morning during my entire stay at Barnes and Noble. It's a silly little cover and here it is. Just shows how long I can do nothing for.

I know what you're thinking. DON'T WORRY. I just happened to have with me some pen and paper to work out the problems with. I'm too poor to actually buy the book (turns out I have a serious problem with spending all my money on dresses that I never wear) so I'll most likely have to go back tomorrow for another looksies. Don't mind me, I'm just living the dream.

Cover up the blank spots hit me on the head.

I'm thinking: why not post another one of your infamous lists? And thus, I present to you all:

The List of Xuan Phan's Irrational Dislikes
1. The Always PC People
2. Group Projects (with people)
3. The Bubbly Handwriting People
4. The Asthmatic Snorers and finally,
5. Cat People - for the love of god, please, just stop it.

Maybe I should work on eliminating the "people" part of each one of my dislikes.
But, better safe than sorry, you know what I mean?

But, like ivy, we grow where there is room for us.

I don't know where it came from, but I found the book No one belongs here more than you: Stories by Miranda July on the bookshelf a few days ago and finished it this morning. I liked the writing style, but overall most of the content I found a little too weird. I'm not very artsy. Is that what it is you have to be to be able to appreciate really fucking weird?

If you are sad, ask yourself why you are sad. Then pick up the phone and call someone and tell him or her the answer to the questionn. If you don't know anyone, call the operator and tell him or her. Most people don't know that the operator has to listen, it is a law. Also, the postman is not allowed to go inside your house, but you can talk to him on public property for up to four minutes or until he wants to go, whichever comes first. - Miranda July

Um guys? I didn't like Mullholland Drive. Sorry. I mean, yes, after reading a few online explanations of the movie I guess I can say props for careful planning, but did anyone actually enjoy the movie while watching it? Let me rephrase. Did any heterosexual female actually enjoy the movie while watching it. And plus, can't you explain any unexplainable movie by playing the dream card? Seriously, I cannot be alone on this.

In the news: I made the switch from Mozilla Firefox to Google Chrome. Why did Mozilla have to let me down? I used to love it more than any one (human being) should love another (internet web browser). For these reasons and more, change is a terrible thing I tell you.

http://www.globalnerdy.com/2009/12/16/how-fanboys-see-operating-systems/

http://www.osnews.com/story/19266

Forget about your House of Cards and I'll do mine.

I can't sleep so I play minesweeper. Good grief, this reminds me of all four years of my life during high school and then some. And before I put those mad counting skillz to use, I watched the movie Up, which had me weeping within the first ten minutes. Weeping is a bit of an overstatement I guess, I'm sure.

Since it's all like, the new year, it would only be right to reflect a little since that is what people like to do and force others to do. And if you were to ask or force me to look back on this time a year ago, well, I'm pretty sure I was a wreck. We all know what it's like. The times of wallowing deep in self pity when drinking yourself to madman status is not quite enough and then the night has to eventually end in a connective (on your part only) cuddle session with your dog, which by that point you've convinced yourself to be the only one left in existence that still understands you. Say it with me now: Been There, Done That.

Okay, that's more than enough. What is this post?

I just want back in your head: memories of a booklover.

Yep, I definitely stayed in bed and read my book all damn day. It's the sort of day when as it's approaching dusk I have to consciously think back with effort to try and remember at least some thing useful I did during the daytime. And if I'm unsuccessful in my search, well, I still fall asleep eventually anyway.

Urban Dictionary defines: Reader's Block

"Related to Writer's Block, this is when you cannot, for the life of you, pick up a book and read it. Sure, you may be able to read a paragraph or two, or maybe even a page, but you don't retain anything of what you just read or have the attention span and/or will to go on. This is common for those who have ADD, are in possession of garbage literature, or are just so exhausted from having to read so many books during school/college that reading anything else, even for pleasure, has become impossible. To those who love to read, this is worse than heart disease and cancer combined."

Gizmodo on Life:

"Some of the geeks you know may say they prefer sun and air, but at least a third of them are lying...Bookworms who live for lazy weekend reads...Bookworms are creatures of comfort who crave for little more than a peaceful corner and a good read..."

You wanted nobody to see you feel vulnerable around me.

Oh yeah, so, I'm a morning person now. It's been about a week and a half so I think I can call it official. Can I just say that it is so nice to be able to sit down and eat breakfast? When does that ever happen anymore.

Body image is an interesting thing. Isn't it always the older women with less than perfect (according to cultural standards, of course) and far from priming bodies the ones who are always stripped down naked smack dab in the open of the locker rooms without a care in the world if anyone sees them? After you reach a certain age, or point in life rather, do you just stop caring and realize how silly it is to be self conscious about that sort of thing ? Anyway, my point is: some day I will finally reach puberty and hit that growth spurt that I've been waiting so long for.

Ohhhhh! So that's what happened.

You know how there's always that one day of the week when you make a meal out of all the left overs that have been crowding the fridge for days? I kind of like that day.

I am so confused right now. I definitely thought yesterday was Halloween. Well, maybe all of Halloween weekend is meant to blur into one long night or something.
I can't stop laughing because if you know me at all then you know that this used to be my favorite song ever to sing dramatically drunk.

Wake up at an ungodly hour. Browse GoogleReader. Post Total Eclipse of the Moon Flowchart to blog because it's just that good. Go back to sleep. Check.

7 Bad Writing Habits you Learned in School

This morning I made it to the library cafe early enough to be the first to snatch the only copy of The New York Times my school can afford anymore for the entire campus to share. Thank you, budget cuts. I thought it was really funny that there was an article called "Obama Girls get the Swine Flu Shots." Really?? Is it because he won a Nobel Peace Prize? Wait, why did he win that, again? It's old news but it's never too late to ask.

adorableness I found on gizmodo.com

Today was a pretty educational day. I went to a lecture on The Female Register and, which was oh so interesting. Made me think about how I say "um" and "like" too much in everyday speech. And then someone made a comment on how they read an article about how people who say "um" a lot are actually really intelligent because it signifies how they're always calculating in their minds for the best way of saying something. But I'm pretty sure that's not the case for me. I'm pretty sure I'm just bad at talking.

And then I sat in on a CompSci guest speaker from Google talk about file sharing. He had the coolest Israeli accent. And the lecture was pretty sweet, obviously, I mean, let's be honest. One day Google will rule the world.

um, AWESOME
http://www.psfk.com/2009/10/pic-origami-tea-bags-designed-to-expand-as-tea-steeps.html

I'll miss the playgrounds and animals and digging up worms.

I have tonight free and they closed the pool again for repairs, so here we are by Bloc Party.

Typical all-nighter with, you know, just the basic essentials.

I stayed in Fraser last night with two other friends who who both ended up passing out in really awkward positions (why yes, I did take pictures) by 6am. I am so good at pulling all-nighters. I am so good at unhealthy things in general. I know my water looks a little murky, but its just lemon!

Today I thought about how I never write much anymore, so I started flipping through all my past ramblings from my my mini-moleskin, which I used to carry around with me everywhere, and here are some excerpts that I thought were pretty entertaining and don't mind sharing. Nothing is dated because I'm all young and stupid and not-caring like that, and I;m just trying to do my part by fitting neatly into stereotypes to avoid any confusion. Anyway, I'm pretty sure it's mostly all from summer and not too long before it.

I wear a white v-neck t shirt and jeans every single day and my backpack is bigger than my body.

Hm, this sounds like a silly John Mayer song. But slightly better and a lot less annoying. I save color and non-baggy t shirts for only special occasions, okay!?

I think I'm going to have to start learning how to drink coffee soon. Ugh, hi adulthood, you're just around the corner, aren't you.

Isn't it some sort of rite of passage to start hanging with the big kids or something? I never started drinking coffee, by they way, but maybe I should 'cause this semester is kicking. my. ass. I can already see it playing through in my mind: "Oh, so this is what it feels like to not make Dean's List. Apparently life goes on. Who knew?" Hopefully I can manage to stay this calm when the time comes. But you know what they say. Time spent wishing is time spent what is the saying, again?

"Because truly to enjoy bodily warmth, some small part of you must be cold, for there is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself." --Moby Dick by Herman Mellville

Now that I think about it, this reminds me of how much I like the Taoist idea of complimentarity of opposites. Remember how you weren't cool unless you had ying-yang signs drawn all over your notebooks and folders in school? I had a few ying-yang pogs, as well. I really wanted to be cool. And clearly, I was, based on the evidence. Inference, man.

He told me he thinks I'm "cute and girly." Give him a break, he's Asian... and not very poetic. And then, a few minutes after he dropped me off and we said goodnight he texted me: "Miss you already! See you in the dream." I wonder if there's a Funny Fob-liners website I can post this on.

HAHA I might always remember this. He wasn't so bad though. Definitely too old for me. My mom didn't seem to mind so much about that though, which was surprising. I was really proud of her for being able to resist calling at five minute intervals to check in the first time I went out with him. When I brought it up the next morning she said, "Well, I didn't want to bother you," and I thought, "Wow. That is so weird. Surely, this must be a trick."

and inevitably, a few pages later, but not necessarily as a direct result...

Well I've decided that I don't particularly enjoy the whole dating scene thing. I'll talk to my parents about arranging some sort of marriage and get back to you guys on how it works out for me.

I thought it was a pretty good idea. Although I'm not exactly known for taking healthy approaches in solving personal dilemmas. This also falls in sync with the fact that I will always, if not consciously, subconsciously sabotage anything good that ever comes my way. For some reason I always write as if speaking to an audience or something.

My uncle gave me his old phone today. It's kind of fancy shmancy...well nothing mega technical but nicer than any phone I've ever owned. It kind of makes me nervous...since i usually live by the general rule of thumb that I will eventually break and then/or lose everything I own. So..I don't know, this may prove to be problematic.

This one's funny because actually I did end up breaking that phone a few months later. In the most ridiculous way, mind you.

There was a time in my life when I watched Fresh Prince of Belaire every single night.

There was a time in my life when I watched Finding Nemo daily.

He called me like two hours after I game him my number. And I kind of really liked it. It's like, he doesn't want to play the game, I don't know how to play the game; it''s a win-win situation for us all.

Really though, no one ever taught me how to play the game of chase and be chased. (Okay, okay, so I was a late bloomer in more ways than one.) 'He's Just Not That Into You 2", anyone? That was a joke. Oh good god that was a joke.

I can see how it might seem like sarcasm, but it's really our way of secretly revealing the truth.

people who understand each other vs. people who don't

me: I haven't listened to Dim Sum Girl since summer!
nghi: Really? I listen to it at least once a week.

we. loved. that. song.


That's all. The rest are either too boring or too personal or too long to type out. I hope you had fun at my expense. And if you didn't, you can look at this: pretties!